I've been feeling rather shitty lately. Despite all my affirmations to the contrary, I didn't feel fine at all. I was numb at best, and falling apart at worst. Last week was incredibly bizarre. I was in a not-sleeping spell, or sleeping a ridiculous 3 hours each night. Having nightmares here and there. I arrived to class late twice in the first week of school, both times because my body forced me to get some sleep.
I was irritable at work and didn't want to deal with any of the customers. Just the thought of going to work was making me want to vomit.
Then, I went to my mother's for the weekend and slept like a log (a bit like how I slept when I went to my mother's right after the terrible sleepless night of leaving Quebec City). Came back here and my no-sleep began again. I felt like I was flaking out, completely.
Then, this morning, I overslept to the point of missing class altogether. So I went directly to work, feeling completely miserable.
Getting out of the metro, I saw from afar a woman that looked a lot like a former coworker of mine from the bookstore. Walking closer, I saw that it wasn't her. I started thinking about the sound advice she had given me many times before, about her way of viewing life. She was an intensely inspirational woman, my favourite coworker.
Then, walking towards work, on St-Denis, I pass in front of a restaurant. I turn around and there she is, sitting on a terrasse, having lunch with another woman. I just went to say hello and she was thrilled to see me. I was about to be late for work, so I just quickly greeted and she asked me where I worked, then saying she'd drop by during the day.
Seeing her instantly made all my gloom disappear. I had not seen her since last October, when she left the bookstore because she was moving to Sherbrooke. It felt like a sign, something telling me that things will be alright.
She did drop by a bit later. We talked for a bit and she gave me her phone number in Sherbrooke, inviting me for a coffee or for a sleep-over if I ever felt like it. Gave me some more of her relieving advice and then she went on her way. She was in Montreal only for the day, a spur of the moment thing.
So, now, it's 9:20. I'm going to bed. I know I'll sleep well tonight and that things will sort themselves out.
I might have been off to a false start, but I intend to transform this into a good beginning.
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Keeping track of where I was, where I'm at and where I want to be. Kinda
4 comments:
That's how I was the other night driving to a fellow student's house in Pasadena. I was tired, and dangerously hypnotized by the lights and shapes outside my window.
I visited my friend for a bit, we talked, and after I left, on the way back home, with that same level of hypnotism and driving at 'cruising' speeds, paired also with the music currently playing (I think it was something from The Dining Rooms) that something clicked in my head and all that gloom that overcasted me seemed to disappear.
I should tell you all about my orientation experience. I've got some tales to share.
Étonnant comment une simple rencontre nous amène à percevoir la vie différemment.
Yep it's always the anonymous human being ...
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À quoi tu joues, exactement?
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