Classifying Former Instances Of Love

If you go back far enough on this blog, you'll read little stories about a guy I always called G. His real first name is Gilbert. I will use that name throught the rest of this post in order to prevent confusion with another person whose first name begins with G.

I had met Gilbert online something like a year and a half ago. We chatted for about 6 months and then, last summer, finally met for real. I fell in love. He had just moved to Montreal and I was still living in Granby. We managed to see one another pretty much once a week for all of August. Then September came, we couldn't see one another, things degraded, he finally broke-up by phone in November (after months of being elusive and not telling me what was going on).

Sometime after, but before I moved to Montreal, he started talking to me again on MSN. On and off, he'd come online, chat me up about some random things and always disconnect abruptly.

In the same timeframe when Benoit left me, Gilbert came to the shop where I work, saying he was looking for a gift for a friend of his. I showed him around the store, he bought some bath product and left. He kept on coming online to talk to me, never really saying anything important or interesting but always questionning me about my relationships. Having learned that I had been dumped and that I was intending to stay alone for a bit, he wrote me something like "Good, you'll finally get to reset your karma" and then proceed to write some stuff about his new boyfriend. It was always that pattern. He'd come online, ask me how I'm doing, if I'm seeing anyone (and always seeming relieved that no, I'm not seeing anyone) and then start talking about his boyfriend, about how he's glad to have someone around that he's comfortable with so he "can concentrate more on the other spheres of his life".

He came to the store again, about 2 weeks ago. I didn't really want to see him. He was with two friends of his, introduced me to them, then told me he was coming in to buy a shampoo (that I had recommended to him the time prior and that he finally bought, only he bought it at the Quebec City store). He grabs the shampoo, tries to make conversation with me (but I'm staying incredibly cold) and then leaves.

Early last week, I came back from spending time in Granby, soaking up the sun and swimming. As I was processing the photos from a photoshoot I had done there, he comes online again. For some reason, I had a feeling he would. Then he starts talking to me. Same routine. Greetings, how am I doing, am I seeing anyone, relief that I am not, anything new?. Then, he tells me he got a new bed. I congratulate him on that and wish him good sleep. To this he replies: "well, it's not so much the sleep but the fact that now [his new boyfriend] can come sleep over if he wants..." (yes, he even went as far as doing suspension marks after his sentence. This was it. Then he says he has something urgent to do and that he's leaving. Conversation ended like this:

-Why do you talk to me at all, Gilbert?
-I don't know, Olivier
-Because it seems that, everytime you come online, you always manage to plug in your new boyfriend and then you disconnect abruptly
-Well, sorry, I hadn't noticed I did that. I guess I can just stop talking about [his new boyfriend] or just stop talking to you altogether.
-Whatever
-OK

He disconnected. I erased him off my list. I didn't block him (but I will if he comes to talk to me again).

Yesterday, I felt bad about that. I don't like passing for an asshole. I was thinking of writing him an email, explaining exactly why I do not want to talk to him or see him at all. Then, I decided I just should leave it as is. Why go on and write to someone that I still have feelings for them if that's most probably what they just want to hear. It feels like he was talking to me just to get the feeling that someone is stirred by him. I don't want to give him that. So this will be it. From a summer to another summer, chapter closed.

Maybe that's what I need in order to get a fresh start. To classify the former instances of love. And now that Gilbert's case is closed, it's time to classify Benoit...