An Aftertaste Of Surveillance

Of course, this could all be a coincidence. A nice, very well orchestrated fluke. Although, I doubt it is...

Last weekend, an ex of my ex (who also happen to be a close friend of his) came to the store where I work. He wanted to say hello, see how I was doing. I thought it was really nice of him. I was quite glad to see him again, as he always seemed to be a really kind person. So we talked for a bit and then he left. I didn't really think twice about it.

But then, today, my ex's best friend happened to walk in the store. My first thought was to go and find some chore to do in the back, to avoid him. On second thought, I went straight to him and said hello. He didn't really seem shocked to see me there, but still blurted out unconvincingly that he "didn't remember I worked there". So he ended up asking me how I was doing, a question to which I replied I was doing fine. Then I asked him how he was doing. He told me about his new work and intership and everything and then reciprocated, asking me what I was up to, in the field of studies. So I told him about my portuguese lessons and then studying photography. He was looking increasingly bored and looked away all the time, then, just said something along the lines of: "yeah, that's nice, buh-bye".

He didn't leave the store right away but kept browsing, with a friend of his. Oftentimes I turned around and saw he was staring at me. He left a couple of minutes after.

Now, I have to mention that that friend of my ex never liked me. I felt that he was threatened by me and always acted weird around me. My ex and him were really close friends, sometimes it felt just a bit too close of a friendship. I often wanted to ask Benoit about the whole matter, about if they had been together before. I never did ask. I probably should have.

Thinking about that also had me thinking about how Benoit seemed to be researching the impossible, looking for a lover that can never quite exist, a construct of his most profound fantasy. Of course, nobody can mesure up to that fantasy. At the same time, his best friend appeared to me to be the closest match to that fantasy of his.

I came to those two little conclusive thoughts on my way back home:

1. Benoit and his best friend should probably just get together, once and for all.
2. If Benoit happens to be checking up on me, he definitely should cut that out. Either speak to me directly or just avoid me altogether. No proxy, no sentinels, nothing.

Also, I remembered today that Benoit still has a CD of mine, Stereolab's Dots And Loops LP. I'd really like to have my CD back...