The Last Straw

I've had it. I have to move out and find another job ASAP. Today was the last straw...

I thought I could endure this bad roommate/boss situation but I can't. The man is sucking the energy and the creativity out of me. It dawned on me that it's only when I am here that I feel worthless and lose all interest in doing anything. When I visit my friends, when I go home, when I'm working on projects at school I feel fine. As soon as I walk in the apartment and he's there, all will to fight leaves my body.

Also, I can't bear this job situation anymore. The man oscillates between moments of treating me like crap, scrutinizing everything I do to find the flaw, saying mean comments in front of the rest of the staff and moments of thanking me for all I do, thanking me for being so understanding and caring for the rest of the staff. Everytime someone is sick and I can replace them, I do it. Everytime I can do anything to help, I do it.

And yet, today, I simply asked to get the day of my birthday off work. He made me feel like shit for asking so, telling me how I would put them all in a really bad situation, etc etc etc. After that, he called me back saying that he'd try very hard to find a replacement, even if it meant him working more days than usual in a row. BIG FUCKING DEAL! Whenever he has a headache or some ailment and asks me to cover his shift, I do it. But when I'm REALLY not feeling well, I always have to work because it's impossible to find someone to replace me.

I was so frustrated that I broke down in front of one of my friends/classmates. She picked me up and made me see things clearer. That's when I realised everything that was going on. The manipulation, the energy-sucking, the sheer fact that he imposes his sadness and anger on everyone in the vicinity and that, through living with him and being the one he loves but isn't loving him back, I am getting the bulk of the crap.

So it's time for me to move out. And find another job. I had started searching for a job already and today, I started looking for a room to rent until I move in with my friends in July...

Such drama, as always. It seems that my life always turns out to be a soap opera...