I'm moving tomorrow morning, early. I'm nervous. At the same time, I'm really excited and looking forward to life in a new neighbourhood. I know that everything will be fine, I'm getting a good feeling about it, but still, for some reason, I'm nervous.
I'm going from Rosemont (deep deep Rosemont) to South Central. I'll be 15 minutes away from my school (that's by foot), in comparison to 40 minutes via bus+metro. Just that fact makes everything a whole lot better. I'll be 20 minutes away from my job instead of an hour. I'll be living close to everything, in a place where there's a lot more activity. My photography will probably benefit from that.
Those who know Montreal know that South Central = Gay Village. I'm not sure how I'll enjoy that. I've never been really fond of that neighbourhood. It seems to be the epitomy of everything I'm not. I'm not partying all the time, I don't devote a cult to my body. At the same time, I'm thinking that perhaps living there will help me face that, face the fact that, yeah, some people in life are vain and some people in life are bitches and judge the value of others by who they wear and the haircut they have. But it should allow me to recognize that not everybody is like that, that not every guy who lives in or frequents that neighbourhood is like that.
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I felt really blue at Christmas. On the bus ride to Granby on the 24th, I had to focus really hard not to start weeping. My mom was picking me up at the bus terminal. When I got in the car, we started talking about things and I explained that I was feeling blue. Again, I came really close to crying. After the xmas mass, we got back home and my sister+brother-in-law arrived. We had the traditional feasting and gift-exchanging. Seeing my family really made me feel better. I felt loved. These past weeks I've been feeling really lonely. Lonely like no one really cares. It's nothing worrisome though. It's not related to depression or anything. I recognise that my life, in general, is going really well. But still, I feel terribly alone...
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Keeping track of where I was, where I'm at and where I want to be. Kinda
1 comment:
I think that whole business with vain people never finishes. Fact be it, we'll unfortunately probably work for many in our time as photographers (unless you go into fine art or another modicum, but in today's age, commercial and fine art are blending rapdily, if not just for photography.)
I also, strangely, feel the lonesome spell, but I've felt it for awhile. Considering my last dealing with a woman wasn't the most pleasant, considering I've lost the bulk of my friends at High School realizing they couldn't care less for me, having to deal with more stupid High School bullshit in college, and having to deal with the fact that my schedule won't allow me to date at this time have all lead to me striving to find the friends I can be with. I'm not sure if I'm mentionede this before, but still. I personally find solice in finding the ones who care and keeping up with them, lately.
I always leave ridiculously long comments on your page, hope all is well and you had a happy holidays.
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