Africa

There's something rather peculiar to knowing you are leaving. Especially knowing that you're leaving for an uncertain amount of time, a year or more. Six months ago I never would've expected such a thing to happen. Yet here I am, about three to four weeks away from departure to an entirely new adventure.

I got a job as a photographer/retoucher in Africa, for a studio/agency. How insane is that? Very insane, I would say. Especially for silly little me, the one who used to always change his mind about everything, the one who used to be scared of his own shadow.

I remember back in 2003 when I was just on the verge of beginning my certificate in visual arts at Sherbrooke University, Darién told me something that stuck with me. Quoting Lost In Translation, he said that, much like Bob was for Charlotte, he wasn't worried about me. That I would find my path. That I just had to stick with it for long enough and that life would lead me (I'm paraphrasing here, but you get the idea). And here we are.

There's so much yet to do:

• move out of my apartment
• get my visa for the Ivory Coast
• receive all the vaccines requiered(about 6, altogether)
• see friends at least one last time
• get together with the whole family one last time
• pack
• determine which cameras I'll be bringing
• acquire some equipment
• replace my dying iPod (as much as I truly want to discover new cultures, I'll die if I just get to listen to Ivorian music)
• ideally shoot and edit another short movie
• cancel my gym membership
• switch or cancel my mobile phone plan
• finish shooting the third roll of film and send the three rolls to Tik Lun for our joint art project
• enjoy every second possible
• meet with my great uncle and great aunt so they can tell me their stories of when they lived in Africa
• hug people and tell them I love them
• have as many yoga sessions as possible
• start a travel blog

I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff here, but that's just a general list. More will come up, in time.

Sleep (Or lack thereof)

I have a big problem with sleep, so it seems. For a certain while, I'll be able to sleep normally, without problems. Then will hit a patch of insomnia, intermixed with nightmares and certain nights of oversleeping.

Before, I used to be able to carry on even if I hadn't slept properly. I would be able to go by my day to day business normally, only feeling kinda tired in the process. In general though, I would be able to manage without a hitch.

Nowadays, it's another story. If I don't sleep properly, I just can't do anything proper during my day. I skip work and only manage to do very little during the day. Also, insomnia is always, ALWAYS accompanied by a certain apocalypse feeling, a sensation that doom is upon us, that gloom is right inside my very own body. I would imagine that insomnia allows depression to travel my entire body, to scour my veins looking for more cells to infect with its darkness.

I guess that this feeling is only exacerbated by the fact that I'm sitting in between at the moment. In between cities, in between lives, in between states. I'm moving back home soon for the summer and then for studies. I might be going abroad for a contract but nothing's finalised or confirmed yet. It's as though life was on hold at the moment.