"-Oli?
-Yeah?
-I'm headin' to the depanneur for food and cigarettes, but I called for dope. So if it gets here before I'm back, would ya get me three bags of the stuff? I'll put the money here.
-Uh...
-Well, ya know, wouldn't wanna miss the dope. Anyhoo, it most probably won't arrive while I'm gone.
-Uh, yeah..."
12 hours to go... 12 hours to go... 12 hours to go
20060630
20060629
48 hours
Last night, I was sitting in my room, playing Brain Age on Nintendo DS. I was doing the speed counting test. For that thing, you have to count numbers aloud from 0 to 120, as fast as you can. While I was doing that, my roommate comes in my room and starts knocking frantically on my door (he was already in the room while knocking on the door, which is backwards, if you ask me).
He starts asking me if I'm fine, si je suis tout à moi ("if I'm all to myself", which basically means if I'm still in touch with reality). I responded saying yes, that I was counting because I was playing a game. He gave me the usual "yeah, right" kinda look and walked away.
For the rest of the evening, the dude kept avoiding me, gave me weirdo looks and made comments as to my "apparently departing sanity".
I move out in 48 hours. Thank god.
He starts asking me if I'm fine, si je suis tout à moi ("if I'm all to myself", which basically means if I'm still in touch with reality). I responded saying yes, that I was counting because I was playing a game. He gave me the usual "yeah, right" kinda look and walked away.
For the rest of the evening, the dude kept avoiding me, gave me weirdo looks and made comments as to my "apparently departing sanity".
I move out in 48 hours. Thank god.
20060624
Faque là, c'est qui le crotté?
This is my month review:
The job at the photo studio didn't work out nicely, for various reasons. So I quit it. And I went back to jobhunting and found a job less than a week after quitting. The new job is really nice. It makes me feel like I'm doing something useful.
In a week, I'm moving out. I'm moving out of this stinky, gloomy place and moving in to a luminous, spacious apartment. I'll be leaving my perma-stoned roommate and his twisted stories and constant pain of living. I'll be leaving this apartment that has filth just about everywhere, that's painted in such dark colours that no light can actually shine in it. I'll be leaving this cloud of darkness. Finally.
The mood swings came back. Back with a vengeance. They also brought the menace of relapse with them. I lost focus, became very irritable, wanted to sleep all the time, wanted to eat all the time, ideas of death kept popping up in my head and it culminated with the return of the "crawlings in my head" feeling. I resorted to taking my doctor's advice, which he had given me when I last saw him. That advice was to start taking the meds again should I feel that I was going back downhill. So here we go, I'm back to taking medication. But if that's the price to pay to feel fine, then I'm willing to pay it. I've seen enough darkness to last me a lifetime.
I've been toying with songwriting. I even managed to put together something half-coherent, which in itself is quite something. I'm in love with the guitar. L. O. V. E. I hope to get really proficient on it quickly. At least I'm practicing tons, which is bound to make a difference in the end. Practice makes perfect, so they say.
Also, je dois spécifier (sur demande spéciale, bien sur) que Renato est un bon ami car il discute avec moi en trois langues afin de me rendre heureux. Voilà.
The job at the photo studio didn't work out nicely, for various reasons. So I quit it. And I went back to jobhunting and found a job less than a week after quitting. The new job is really nice. It makes me feel like I'm doing something useful.
In a week, I'm moving out. I'm moving out of this stinky, gloomy place and moving in to a luminous, spacious apartment. I'll be leaving my perma-stoned roommate and his twisted stories and constant pain of living. I'll be leaving this apartment that has filth just about everywhere, that's painted in such dark colours that no light can actually shine in it. I'll be leaving this cloud of darkness. Finally.
The mood swings came back. Back with a vengeance. They also brought the menace of relapse with them. I lost focus, became very irritable, wanted to sleep all the time, wanted to eat all the time, ideas of death kept popping up in my head and it culminated with the return of the "crawlings in my head" feeling. I resorted to taking my doctor's advice, which he had given me when I last saw him. That advice was to start taking the meds again should I feel that I was going back downhill. So here we go, I'm back to taking medication. But if that's the price to pay to feel fine, then I'm willing to pay it. I've seen enough darkness to last me a lifetime.
I've been toying with songwriting. I even managed to put together something half-coherent, which in itself is quite something. I'm in love with the guitar. L. O. V. E. I hope to get really proficient on it quickly. At least I'm practicing tons, which is bound to make a difference in the end. Practice makes perfect, so they say.
Also, je dois spécifier (sur demande spéciale, bien sur) que Renato est un bon ami car il discute avec moi en trois langues afin de me rendre heureux. Voilà.
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