I'm moving tomorrow morning, early. I'm nervous. At the same time, I'm really excited and looking forward to life in a new neighbourhood. I know that everything will be fine, I'm getting a good feeling about it, but still, for some reason, I'm nervous.
I'm going from Rosemont (deep deep Rosemont) to South Central. I'll be 15 minutes away from my school (that's by foot), in comparison to 40 minutes via bus+metro. Just that fact makes everything a whole lot better. I'll be 20 minutes away from my job instead of an hour. I'll be living close to everything, in a place where there's a lot more activity. My photography will probably benefit from that.
Those who know Montreal know that South Central = Gay Village. I'm not sure how I'll enjoy that. I've never been really fond of that neighbourhood. It seems to be the epitomy of everything I'm not. I'm not partying all the time, I don't devote a cult to my body. At the same time, I'm thinking that perhaps living there will help me face that, face the fact that, yeah, some people in life are vain and some people in life are bitches and judge the value of others by who they wear and the haircut they have. But it should allow me to recognize that not everybody is like that, that not every guy who lives in or frequents that neighbourhood is like that.
-----
I felt really blue at Christmas. On the bus ride to Granby on the 24th, I had to focus really hard not to start weeping. My mom was picking me up at the bus terminal. When I got in the car, we started talking about things and I explained that I was feeling blue. Again, I came really close to crying. After the xmas mass, we got back home and my sister+brother-in-law arrived. We had the traditional feasting and gift-exchanging. Seeing my family really made me feel better. I felt loved. These past weeks I've been feeling really lonely. Lonely like no one really cares. It's nothing worrisome though. It's not related to depression or anything. I recognise that my life, in general, is going really well. But still, I feel terribly alone...
20051226
20051220
Fastforward
My school term ended a week ago. Christmas is coming up and I'm moving out of the Villa in a week. Time flies, it's just incredible. It seems like only a month ago, it was scorchingly hot outside and I was looking forward to beginning photoschool and was a bit anxious as what it would be like. Finally, school turned out to be pretty much all I expected and promises to be even more as the terms go by. Next term, we'll be tackling studio work and artificial lighting, colour theory and, gasp!, we'll even shoot 4x5s!
As for this term, I went through a crisis towards photography and came out of it with a better vision on what I want to do and I'm producing stronger work. At my term assessment with capture and lab teachers, the comments were really positive and encouraging. Also, I got the highest final grades that I have even gotten in my life: 92% in capture class and "over 90" in lab.
So, this year will have been a crazy rollercoaster and my first real foray into what I shall name: The Adult Life. So, since I'm in a seemingly neverending listing mood, here it goes again:
2005 in keywords:
I've probably missed a couple of things, but I think that summarizing a year in keywords beats the hell out of doing a full written recap. Also, I doubt that doing so would be of interest to anyone but me.
-----
I've spoken to my father last week. For the first time in something like 8 or 9 months. We chatted and then I admitted that I wanted to make contact for a while but was having a case of pride. He said that so did he. So we agreed to stop that shit right now and keep in contact from now on.
It seems that, in doing so, a shift was initiated. Some people I had not spoken to in a long time contacted me. Other things of that effect have happened. Maybe it's the coming of the new year, but I feel a new cycle coming on, something different.
-----
I finally managed to go see my doctor about my blood test and my medication follow-up. My blood test was superb, absolutely nothing wrong with it. Also, seeing how everything is, I can stop taking my meds anytime starting mid-january. During all the time I was in the cabinet, my doctor kept on talking to me about photography and making jokes. When I left, he gave me a nice pat on the back wishing me merry christmas and sweet things for the new year.
:D
As for this term, I went through a crisis towards photography and came out of it with a better vision on what I want to do and I'm producing stronger work. At my term assessment with capture and lab teachers, the comments were really positive and encouraging. Also, I got the highest final grades that I have even gotten in my life: 92% in capture class and "over 90" in lab.
So, this year will have been a crazy rollercoaster and my first real foray into what I shall name: The Adult Life. So, since I'm in a seemingly neverending listing mood, here it goes again:
2005 in keywords:
- johnné
- love
- german
- drunken interior photography of a woman
- student strike
- new job
- heartbreak
- new adventures
- rollercoaster
- weird people
- relapse
- discovery
- tears
- laughs
- running
- photography
- dSLR
- recovery
- new beginnings
- Powerbook!
- public transit
- piercings
- love
- heartbreak (again)
- friendship
- family
- sweat
- work
- strength
- questionnings
- and, ultimately, coming through
I've probably missed a couple of things, but I think that summarizing a year in keywords beats the hell out of doing a full written recap. Also, I doubt that doing so would be of interest to anyone but me.
-----
I've spoken to my father last week. For the first time in something like 8 or 9 months. We chatted and then I admitted that I wanted to make contact for a while but was having a case of pride. He said that so did he. So we agreed to stop that shit right now and keep in contact from now on.
It seems that, in doing so, a shift was initiated. Some people I had not spoken to in a long time contacted me. Other things of that effect have happened. Maybe it's the coming of the new year, but I feel a new cycle coming on, something different.
-----
I finally managed to go see my doctor about my blood test and my medication follow-up. My blood test was superb, absolutely nothing wrong with it. Also, seeing how everything is, I can stop taking my meds anytime starting mid-january. During all the time I was in the cabinet, my doctor kept on talking to me about photography and making jokes. When I left, he gave me a nice pat on the back wishing me merry christmas and sweet things for the new year.
:D
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