A Swedish Instant (the idea of mobility)

It's midterm period already. It's midterm period and I am a really poorly organised student. I realise that after a year of not studying, it's hard to settle in a routine of having to constantly remind one-self of what has to be done. I lose focus easily, just another subset of this butterfly mind I have. Also, I am a procrastinator, a very talented one. Combine that with the fact that I'm preparing two admission portfolios and applying at three different schools and you get a nice series of distractions to stray me from doing homework.

Tomorrow afternoon I have my mid-term exam for German language and culture class. 360 pages of theory about Germany, about the mechanics of the country, about the 16 Länder and THEIR proper mechanics, about the judiciary system, about the history of the country both BEFORE And AFTER the second world war. A lot of dense stuff to memorise and comprehend. Of course, during the previous weeks I always (and constantly) forgot about doing my reading, arriving unprepared to class and always feeling like a stupid dude for not doing my student chores. But with the exam being tomorrow, I've been working on doing my stuff, albeit a bit on the late side.

I had planned of taking all day yesterday to do my reading, taking notes, making little graphs of things to memorise. I had planned to wake up early and be the productive student.

Of course, I woke up at 10. It took me a while to actually get my day started. Before doing any reading I had to select alternate slides and negatives to be enlarged for my portfolio, the lab I had used for the original selection having screwed some up (yes, how most excellent!). Left here around 1pm. A friend and I had decided to meet at a metro station at 13:40. He'd come with me to the photolab and then we'd go for coffee. We would both be back towards the end of the afternoon to our respective places to do our respective studies. Of course, it didn't happen that way.

We went to the lab and after that we went to Mont-Royal metro station to find a coffee shop. We walked up and down Mont-Royal street finding nothing we liked. Ended up in a nice coffee shop on St-Denis, something like 2 hours later. It was really cold out. Snowy, windy. Really winter. We sat at a table right next to the window, watching people pass by. The café (Java U, for you all Montrealers) was decorated in shades of brown and white. White concrete and brick on the wall, wooden tables and wooden chairs with white upholstery. Very swedish. I was telling my friend (a polish man in exchange from a french school) about my fascination for the nordic countries, Sweden being one of them. Him telling me that the café was really swedish in it's own respect and that the weather and the feel of it all really helped with this impression. We chatted and talked for hours. Then we left this little piece of Sweden. Went to get really cheap pizza outside of the island, just for the sake of it. We parted at 6pm. Not quite the end-of-afternoon that was planned.

I got home and started thinking about it, about the idea of mobility, the idea of being someplace else. I have always been interested in people from abroad, in other cultures and other countries. Yet, I have never traveled.

I was thinking that, if I'm admitted in photography at Concordia University, I would try to go study in Europe for a year. In Germany, most probably. To live some mobility, to try my life someplace else, just for a while...

Changes

I moved out of home nearly a month and a half ago now. Moving out of home to a new life is always a very threatening experience, something that's both exhilarating and dreadful. A month and a half in though, I can truly say that I am home here, more than I was in my hometown.

At first I had my doubts. I felt quite alone in this new city. True, my good friend and flatmate was there, but still, you can have a thousand close friends and still feel lonely. It all lies within. Beginning school was frightening: after a year of not doing any academic work whatsoever, going back to university was quite a step. And then there was the fact that I had to start looking for a job. I was really nervous, to say the least.

But surprisingly, seeing the history of complicated matters I have behind me, everything went smoothly. School is quite nice. Sure, as usual, I do tend to forget about doing my assignements but I always pull through. I have made new friends, reconnected with former ones. I like my classes and am glad to have chosen what I chose.

Since moving, there have been a lot of changes taking place both around me and within me. I'm getting more and more confident. Not nervous or anxious or paranoid as I constantly was, back in Granby. This in itself is major change. Something profound that affects everything. Adding to this, I have not really felt majorly down in a long time. Of course I've had moments, but nothing major, nothing serious.

A month in and I have found (or, actually, decided) the direction I want to give to my life. I want to be a photographer. I want to study photography and work in the field. Live from my passion. Since taking that decision I have been working and working my photographic skills to build a consistent portfolio of admission for Photography programs. I have to submit the said portfolios in two weeks. Hopefully I'll be admitted. If I am not admitted anywhere I'm applying, I have a plan B: finish my certificate of german language and find a plan C during the year. It's foolproof.

So that's the state of things. Now that I've quickly recapped, I'll be able to begin blogging regularly again...