Getting Out

Today, I got out. I had to go to the university to get my student ID card and my student loan document. Also, I needed to go and have my student-fare transportation card done. Since moving in last Sunday, I had not gotten out of the flat by myself. It was a first today.

I left the flat and walked to the metro station, then took the metro to the university. It had been a rather weird experience. I had taken the metro before, so I knew what to expect. Took the first train on the blue line and got out at the station that crosses with the orange line. Somehow, I progressively became nervous and anxious, probably because of the crowd that had amassed waiting for the train on the orange line to arrive (for some reason, the line was shut down and was just being realimented as I got to the station). When the train finally arrived, all those people tried getting in the wagons all at once. I decided to wait for the next train. About 10 minutes later another train passed and I hopped in. The wagon became more crowded with each station we passed. About two stations away from my stop, some dude backed into me and pushed me into the door. For the rest of the commute I was unable to move, being completely immobilized by the rude mister who never seemed to notice the fact that I was stuck right behind him.

Finally made it to the stop and went to the university. Had my student card done, then went for the student loan document. I waited 45 minutes to get the thing. While waiting, I got to think about various things regarding the new state of my life: new flat, new city, having to look for a new job, etc. I became overwhelmed and started to feel rather depressed. A nice case of blues. My turn came and I retrieved my document. After that I should have gone searching for the place to get my student schedulebook, but I really wasn't in the mood.

I then went to the place to get my student transportation card done. All went fine. Once that was done, I figured I needed a bit of shopping therapy: I bought a CD. Then I took the metro back to the flat, this time using a different route. Made it here faster. (Instead of taking the orange line, then the blue line in order to get here, I took the green line and then a bus.)

Later in the evening my friend David called and wanted to go for coffee, a brilliant idea. So I got out again and took the metro to where he lives. The whole transportation anxiety I felt earlier today completely dissolved. It was then that I noticed I was feeling a peculiar state of calm, one I don't think I've ever experienced before. Must be that I'm adapting to all the new things.

The People Who Rule / The People Who Suck

I'm moved into my new flat now. Flatmate and I have been working like beasts for the past two days bringing this place together: painting the walls, cleaning up the floors, shopping for the necessary stuff for the flat, etc. It's been nonstop, but all worth it. The flat is coming together. Lovely. My flatmate rules. She's a friend I've known for a long time. Yet, we were never really spending tons of time together. It was always in little bouts: we'd see one another for a while, then one or the other of us would drift off someplace and we would go for months without news. Then, we would meet and see one another for a while again. In the past three days we have been in close proximity all the time and it has been fine. Even with the tiredness, the stress and the work, we laughed and had fun. This cohabitation promises to be great.

I have to admit that I was nurturing a bit of a foolish dream. With G "speaking" to me again (via MSN, as the lad doesn't call) and knowing I was moving and knowing my phone number here and seeming moderately interested to actually see me, I was hoping he'd call or want to see me or something like that. When I gave him my phone number here and told him the day the number would be in service, he was all "oh yeah, I'll call that phone of yours, promise!". Whatever, really. I come online tonight using a temporary dial-up access and the lad is online, asking me if I'm finally moved in, asking me how I like it and etc, then moves on to tell me about some stuff he bought and about some computer problems he's having. In response I'm being quite monosyllabic, as there's not much to reply to those things. By then I figure I should just ask him if he's doing anything tomorrow. So I just ask: "Are you doing anything tomorrow night?" His reponse: "I'm already seeing a friend for coffee." Then, he moves on to another topic of his. He has to reboot his computer because of blah-blah-blah. Asks me when I begin University, I reply. Then he says: "Ah, don't you worry, it's all gonna be fine". Who said I was worried?! What's with the assumption that I'm living intense anxiety. To this I reply: "I am not worried in the least". His response: "That's the spirit". Then he logs off wishing me luck and blah. The boy sucks and his act is completely infuriating. If you don't care, then just don't type anything.

In the end though, I'm the one who needs a reality check: he's never gonna come around, I should just gracefully digest that fact and move on.

Roll Credits

I set up this blog a little more than a year ago, as a log of what was happening, where I was going. I was then looking for a sense of direction, some form of purpose I guess. A year later, it seems I have found direction. At least I'm going somewhere, refusing to stand still or just give up.

I'm moving out of home in one or two days (depending on the weather). My school term begins in 10 days. I'm completely excited about it. The flat I am renting is quite cool in it's own way and my flatmate is just superb. She's a girl I've known for years now. I'm glad to be sharing this new adventure with her.

I've grown so much this year (much like we all grow each year, might you say). I can't exactly express how, but it has been a different kind of growth. Something profound, something that will have effects on me for years to come. Positively. For that, I'm thankful.

End of movie, roll credits.

See you in the rest of my life. [insert hugeass grin here].